August Ends

Memory's a funny thing, isn't it? When I look back on my first few weeks at University I paint a pretty rosy picture. Those first few lectures. My first impressions of those people who would later become close friends. Some hijinxes in the Ram and the Imperial. I have to really take myself back there before I remember all the tears, the wanting to go home.

I think I'll look back on August 2011 in very much the same way. While there haven't been many tears it's been rather an awkward month. A month of sitting around and fidgeting, filling long summer days in a beautiful setting with not very much at all and wishing we had more money to do it in. Longing for things to start, to have a purpose for being in this wonderful place. Meeting lovely people, but not quite knowing how to get beyond the small talk. In a few weeks time when term begins and we start to eat meals in the college and get down to some studying I know we'll settle quickly, and most of this will pass. But I hope I at least remember August as it has been, if only to inform my initial discussions with next year's intake.

The bank holiday was rather a ray of sunshine. Mum and Dad had been saying for a little while that we ought to do something together, and we decided to go to Stow on the Wold. We visited Bourton on the Water for a walk on Monday and Stratford on Avon for a theatre tour yesterday. I didn't think I'd need a holiday, but somehow going away from here, if only for 48 hours, has made a difference.

So, what else have we been up to? Well, we went to the dentist at Oxford Brookes today - it's amazing how something like going to the dentist can become the centre point of your day when you're not doing anything else. Tomorrow Paul is going to Oxford and Cherwell Valley to enroll on his Diploma in Progression. Oh, and after some umm-ing and ah-ing he's also signed up to do the Cuddesdon School of Theology and Ministry which runs on a Thursday evening. We talked about it a lot and think it's a good idea for him to have some basic theological training and it's a good forum for him to address his big questions. Seriously, Paul thinks about Theology much more than I do. Christology and the Trinity, Salvation, Heaven and Hell and that sort of thing. I've told him the greatest thinkers in history have spent thousands of years not solving these things, but you just can't tell some people...!

I've abandoned my pre-reading in favour of Crime and Punishment. I've really been struggling with the pre-reading, I feel I've been reading it without an anchor, like none of my previous study has really prepared me for this sort of Theology. It's not compulsory, so I've quietly put it away, to be returned to as and when I need it. Crime and Punishment, on the other hand, is superb. It's the fourth Dostoevsky novel I've read and the first one I've actually enjoyed!

And I've been watching my Lewis box set like mad. Today a girl in a wheelchair came out of Blenheim Palace and straight into the Blenheim maze which is about half a mile away. I've a feeling Lewis is going to do nothing for my geography.

Busy Doing Nothing

Whoa, where did that week go?

So we went to Kat and Matt's on Friday night and had a great evening. We ate lovely food, drank lovely drinks and taunted Andrew incessantly. Andrew stayed over theirs on Friday night and came over to ours on Saturday night (via a friend in Swindon, I think!) We ordered a takeaway from a very nice Indian in Horspath and drank yet more wine. It was really nice to spend some time with Andrew, Kat and Matt. I'm honoured at the amount of friends from home that have taken the time to visit us already. I know it will be important for us to maintain those valuable friendships.

I woke up on Sunday morning and my eyes felt a bit swollen - I assumed from the drinking. Paul, Andrew and I went to Cuddesdon Parish Church which turned out to be an eventful morning as the chap who was meant to be Priesting didn't turn up, so another Priest who had just come along to attend the service had to step in. This has shown me a little bit about what it must be like to be a Priest! There were a lot of new students there, and this incident actually lightened the atmosphere.

So back to my face. Over Sunday it became more and more swollen, and when I got up on Monday morning my eyelids, under eyes, cheeks and lips were swollen, red and peeling. I had wondered on Sunday whether it was an eye infection or something, but the dry skin made me realise it was the face wash I had picked up in Asda. I've never reacted to a product before and it was just horrible, itchy and painful but moreover ever so embarrassing! A combination of anti-histamine, ibuprofen, E45 and a lot of concealer have got me through the last few days. The swelling finally completely disappeared on Thursday morning!

This made me approach morning prayer on Monday with even more trepidation, but I think it went OK. Everyone's very friendly and chilled out, so even if I had made a mistake I'm sure no-one would have minded. I consulted Dad on a hymn choice and went for 'Lead me, O my Father lead me.' The bit in the first verse about crossing a tempestuous sea somehow resounded with me.

Monday and Tuesday were largely uneventful days, but Wednesday was Paul's birthday so we decided to do something special. He wanted to go to London again, so we went on the bus. I secretly booked London Eye tickets, because the last time we went which was years ago it was raining and we couldn't see anything. We got on the bus and went for a coffee, and that's when I told Paul about the Eye. We went on it at 10am. It was raining.

Afterwards, we went to the Imperial War Museum. We went to the Holocaust Exhibition, which was extremely well-presented and very moving. It certainly puts something like a slightly swollen face into perspective...

Yesterday evening we went to Kate and Lawrence's for a drink and stumbled home along the dark Cuddesdon country lanes at near midnight. It was really good fun and just being able to kick back and have a laugh and a drink with someone was just what I needed. I hope there will be many instances of stumbling back along the dark Cuddesdon country lanes to come!

Acquaintancing

Roll of new Acquaintances, so far
16 ordinands
10 men, 6 women
3 new, 13 continuing
And we remember the names of 14 of them.

13 spice (yes, actual word, plural of spouse.)
6 men, 7 women
And we remember the names of 9 of them.

At least 18 children
A variety of genders and ages.
At a push I think I could venture the names of 7 of them.

I know this to be the case, because I have started writing it down on a piece of A4 paper with the headings 'ordinand', 'spouse', 'children?', 'home', 'course' and 'notes.'

Yep, we are making acquaintances like there's no tomorrow. The best forum for this is morning prayer, generally because there's only 6 or 7 people every morning and you've got plenty of time to gaze at the people sitting in the pews opposite and try and work out whether you've met them before and, if so, if you remember their names and whether a cheery question such as "so, how are the kids?" is an appropriate opening gambit in post-prayer conversation.

Everyone has been extremely friendly to us. Keen to find out about us, where we've come from, where we're living now and how we're getting on in our new home. It's the feeling of a community and, although I'm only at the stage of tentative small talk at the moment, I've a feeling I'm going to make friends here.

After prayer this morning Kate, who is also a new student, invited me back to hers for a cup of tea. It's the first time I've had an opportunity to sit with someone and have a proper chat. She and her family have been here a week so are very much at the same stage as Paul and I - getting settled into their home and just starting to make connections with the wider community. It's nice to know there are others in the same boat as us.

Talking of morning prayer, in a typically Hannah-esque moment I have volunteered to lead it on Monday. The students take it in turns to lead, but so far it's just been continuing students. I decided to volunteer because I just want to get stuck in. I'll make sure to spend some time writing intercessions and choosing a hymn over the weekend. If I make a mistake I'm sure no-one will mind. I'll let you know how I get on.

Mum and Dad came to visit on Monday and Tuesday. We went to the Bat and Ball on Monday night and the Railway on Tuesday so I am feeling well-fed! And we went to Blenheim Palace on Tuesday which was ever so interesting. A picture of Mr A, Mum and Dad there is attached.

We're off to see Kat and Matt in Reading tonight which I'm really looking forward to. Actually, we've got to be there at 6pm, so I ought to head off!

A Bang on the Head

I am hiding under the desk looking altogether embarassed. Let me explain why.
Paul and I went to a lovely church this morning. Quite large, big congregation, liturgical worship, friendly atmosphere, good hymns. All was going well until I walked back from communion feeling happy and content. I turned left into my pew and smacked my head on some form of wooden pillar decoration. (Stop laughing!) I wasn't knocked out or anything, but it made a very loud clunk and all the people in the pews behind me gasped. Those of you who go to a traditional form of church will know that you're supposed to sit looking very contemplative and reverent when returning from communion. Not walk into things.

So I sat down and tears came to my eyes. Initially because of the shock of the bang I think, but sadly they didn't stop. And for the rest of the service I couldn't stop my watery eyes. I wasn't crying (in the sense of bawling, wailing, sniffling etc.) but I just couldn't stop the tears. Quite what the lovely people of Holy Trinity Headington throught of me I do not know, but I managed to pull off a number of brief conversations (including with the vicar) after the service in a perfectly polite and well-mannered way while wildly dabbing my eyes with tissues.

Oh dear. Well what's brought this on? It certainly wasn't the bang on the head. But neither am I feeling particularly unhappy at the moment. I think it's just being somewhat out-of-sorts, out of routine and in an unfamiliar place. It must play havoc with the subconscious. At least it's only the second most embarassing occurance of me crying in church (many of you will know the first...)

I think I will go back there next week (in disguise of course, I don't want them to think "oh, there's that girl who cries again") and of course I'll watch out for pertruding decor. Sobbing incident aside, I had a very lovely morning there. It's great that we've come across a church that we feel comfortable in so quickly. In term time I will be in placement churches, but Headington will be perfect for the holidays.

Chin up and move on then. We are British! I'm reeeeally excited about tomorrow as Mum and Dad are coming down. If they get here in time we're going for dinner in the Bat and Ball tomorrow night, then on Tuesday we're going to Blenheim Palace. Should be good!

On the Tourist Trail

Well hello again. As I type I am sitting in my study (yes, it's got a desk and a sofa and a book case and a cassock hung on the door and a nice view out the window - evidence attached - it's definitely a study not simply an office or a room with a computer in it) reporting to you after a funny up and downish sort of few days.

If I describe my movements since Friday in any sort of detail you'd probably keel over and die of the boredom so here's a snapshot of things Paul and/or I have done in the last 5 days in no particular order. You can work out who did what;

- Built a flat-packed desk
- Cooked a steak
- Bought cushions
- Spent 1 hour and 45 minutes trying to park in Oxford
- Been to an assessment interview
- Been to Morning Prayer
- Built a flat-packed wardrobe
- Hosted a visit from Sazzle
- Contemplated Turner and Constable / grumbled about Bacon in the Tate Britain
- Stood in the Commons (physical not metaphorical standing)
- Drew a picture
- Browsed Church House Bookshop
- Drunk a glass of wine in the Bat and Ball
- Met an assortment of people and can't remember any of their names

It's an odd sort of feeling being here. Now we've arrived and are unpacked we have very little to do and it's sunk in with gravity how different life is going to be. Learning a new place is tiring. When you know a place you can drive anywhere without really thinking, you know the busy roads to avoid, the shortcuts. You know the layout of your local supermarket and where to find a cash point. And meeting new people is tiring too. You don't want to put on a face, but you know you have to act your best or else they'll start off with a bad impression. 

It's not all bad. We went to London today and had a superb time, the best day out we've had in ages. Paul's the happiest I've seen him since I can remember. He felt that his initial assessment at the college went really well, and he's excited about the future and about being here.

We're going to a college coffee morning tomorrow, which should help us get to know some more people. And we have a visit from Mum and Dad next week, and visiting Kat, and hopefully visiting Ellie. Good things to come.

What a Way to Make a Living!

After precisely 3 years and 3 weeks, I have left my employment at Devon County Council.

I've actually had a really nice time. More so the first 2 years than the last one, but I've really got very little to complain about the whole time I've been there. Nice people, interesting work, ok-ish pay. I know that I'll keep in touch with the friends I have made there.

These 3 years at work have mainly been important to me because I've proved to myself that I can hold down a 9-5 job with relative success. I'd been worried up until this point that I'd grown to enjoy the student lifestyle too much and I wouldn't react well to the discipline. But actually I've really enjoyed being a 'normal' person with a proper job and a proper house. Given that I will be spending much of my working life as a vicar with normal people with normal jobs, normal houses, normal overdrafts and credit card bills, it's actually been really important to have a taste of that lifestyle myself.

And now for something completely different...!

I can't keep you very long on this blog post as tomorrow at 6am (yes, 6am, we want to avoid the holiday traffic!) we are leaving for Oxford for good, and I really need to help Paul pack! Hopefully the nice BT man will come and install internet on Monday and then I'll do another blog post and let you know how I'm getting on!

My colleague wrote a poem in my leaving card which I would like to share with you. Quite how much of the taxpayers money in work time he spent on it I do not know, but here it is...

So Hannah's off, nothing could be slicker
Than training to be the UK's sexiest Vicar
As she earns the right to wear that white collar
All the heathens will shout and holler
"Let us be part of your flock
You're one hot vicar, baby you rock!"
They will all queue for your weekly session
Begging to give you their darkest confession
You'll be like catwoman in cape and a mask
A holy superhero... You've got one heck of a task

Back to Devon perhaps you'll return one day
Converting us all the Alderson way
I have such respect for your chosen path
Leaving behind the data aftermath
Small Grants and Fasbers, oh how inferior
And tears from Beryl, our Mother Superior
I hope you like this farewell rhyme
I wish you well, and have a great time
For thine is the Kingdom the Power and the Glory
For Ever and Ever... Amen Ory!!!! (well it had to rhyme!!)

Written by the very talented David Johnson.
(Make of it what you will....!)