Morning has Broken

It's 6am and I'm blogging. Yup...

His Lordship has lately decided that 5.30am is the time he'd like his breakfast (Arthur, not Paul.) Admittedly it beats 3am or 4am, but at this time of morning there's really no point in going back to bed before morning prayer, so I'm having half-an-hour of computer time and am spending it writing a blog.

So, term has started again, although you'd never know it from my - ahem - busy schedule. I have decided not to do any optional lectures this year,as I think it's probably far more important I spend time with Arthur in these formative months than sit in lots of lectures. Therefore, my schedule consists of a half-hour preaching workshop on a Monday and an hour-and-a-half placement presentation on a Friday. Plus an hour of College Group on a Wednesday and morning/evening prayer.

Actually, it's really nice to have a little bit of a routine (morning/evening prayer and meals) but enough to be manageable. It feels like everything has fallen into routine of late, including Arthur's care.

The catheters have continued to be extremely stressful, and I admit I've had quite a few down days thinking about them. The thing is, getting them wrong and allowing large amounts to build up in the bladder is extremely dangerous - kidney failure is the biggest killer of spina bifida children, or so I'm told - so every time we have a big reading I throw a bit of a wobbly. But I think we've got it cracked now, as we've worked out that if we cath him immediately before a feed and again precisely 1 hour after the feed the volumes stay below 50ml. We'd prefer 40ml, but 50ml is ok.

We've also recently acquired some new overnight catheters which are hideously complicated and involve snapping a glass vial and injecting purified water into a balloon which expands in the bladder. Complicated, but at least they stay in overnight and don't fall out like the old ones did.

I'm feeling weirdly guilty about how much we're costing the NHS. His catheters alone cost £15 per day (£5,475 per year). Of course he's worth it, it just feels odd being so reliant. Paul reminds me that the British taxpayer is probably more worried about their money supporting chain-smokers with lung problems than they are with supporting a little baby with needs. I think I'll just try not to think about it.

Other concerns include feeding (have switched to formula due to catheter 'what goes in must come out' scenario, which is guilt-inducing but has made me more sane), a dramatic wheeze and a lazy eye. All in a day's work...

Still, on the good side, Arthur is now tracking objects with his eyes and smiling at Mummy, Daddy and his Red Cow (yay!) so developmentally he's spot on. It's so wonderful to see him responding to stuff.

Today I've really got to start reading for my dissertation. I handed in my African essay on Friday, so starting the dissertation proposal is top priority. I loved writing my undergrad dissertation - it's great to be able to really get into a subject - so I'm looking forward to starting this one. I also have to meet with my tutor and agree how many evening prayers a week I'll be able to attend. Late afternoon is Arthur's scrotty time, so hopefully I won't be expected to go to all of them. I'd feel a bit bad about letting Paul cope with the screaming every single day.

Well, it's probably time for me to get myself into some sort of presentable state for morning prayer. Having consumed his breakfast his Lordship is, of course, asleep again. Hard life being a baby...