Advent

Well, Sunday was the first day of Advent. Now, if you're one for chocolate Advent calendars you don't get to start til the 1st. But as far at the Church is concerned it started on Sunday. The dictionary reliably informs me that the word Advent means "the coming, or arrival, of something extremely important."

Of course, what is important about Advent is that the one we are waiting for is Jesus. But didn't he come about 2,011 years ago? Well, yes. But we're waiting for him again because that's how the Liturgical year works.

I'm really starting to dig the whole rhythm of the Church year. When you're going to church twice a day (which I am, at the moment, for - quite literally - my sins...) something like the altar cover changing colour (it's BLUE!) or having a shiny new Advent preface for something becomes very exciting. It's ringing the changes, because as of the 27th November we're into a completely different stage, we are waiting for something extremely important.

So what've I been up to just recently?

Well, many of you will have followed the saga of Dougal's paw on Facebook. Basically, he's been limping for a week and this morning his front left paw was twice the size of his other paws. So I bundled him into the car and to the vets we went. A trip which involved me getting quite literally covered with numerous cat bodily fluids including a copious amount of blood, and lightening my wallet to the tune of £48, but it feels like the right thing to do. And now we're going to have to bathe the poor infected little mite's paw in salty water twice a day as well as persuade him to eat some antibiotics, which I'm sure he'll just love.

Put you off your tea and biscuits did I, sorry?

I've also been writing my essay. It is a formative essay and entirely optional but I think I ought to do it because the last essay wot I ever wrote was in May 2008 which was to all intents and purposes quite a long time ago. I have entitled this one "The Quest for Beauty: A Theological Reflection on Art Tourism." It feels a bit silly and frivolous but I'm enjoying writing it.

Group E were on Hospitality last week (I can't remember whether I explained this to you in an earlier post, the college is split into five groups, A to E, with E standing for Excellent obviously, and we rotate different college duties each week.) Being on Hospitality meant I got to meet and greet some lovely visiting candidates on Saturday. One of them was betwixt BAP and BAP results so we shared BAP stories and I realised with surprise that mine seems years and years ago now, so much has happened since. And yet it was less than 7 months ago.

Hardworking Group E are on Worship this week which means we cover a number of duties in the running of the College's services. I assisted at Creative Eucharist last night, and at BCP Eucharist this morning, and I'll be reading at Thursday Morning Prayer. I feel like I'm getting more confident with the whole serving thing. Last time we were on worship I spent the whole evening before I assisted at a Eucharist worrying about it, rehearsing it over and over in my head. I didn't feel the need to do that this time. I suppose once you've done something once...

It's amazing how near the end of term we are. This week is the last week of proper lectures, next week is a Themed Study Week (TSW) on Leadership, then we're done. I'll miss Morning and Evening prayer, and being in such lovely company, but it will be good to have a few weeks off for a rest and to start on my other essays.

And, of course, to reflect on all that Advent means.

The Pessimist's Piece

Hello friends. It was pointed out to me during the last week that the essential message of my previous Blog post was "look how brilliant Theological college is! I have no work and can spend all day playing croquet!"

Now, college is brilliant. Very brilliant. But perhaps I have slightly misrepresented my croquet vs work time ratio to you all. So, bearing in mind that I am enjoying college very much and am, in fact, the happiest I have been in very many years, here is my list of the top ten most difficult things about training for ordination. In no particular order.

1) Having no time.
It's Sunday, the day of rest. Strictly speaking I shouldn't be working today. But so far I have got up, gone to breakfast at college, whizzed into town on the P&R to pick up some materials for Group Worship on Wednesday, come home for a very quick lunch, read for 3 hours and sat down to write this Blog Post. I'll eat dinner about 4.30pm then head to St Andrew's for the evening service. The upside is that I like being busy and it's great preparation for the busy life of the Parish Priest.

2) Having no idea what's going on in the world.
Related to the previous point, the amount of time I can spend doing things that I used to do like watching TV and browsing the Internet for hours is limited. I've watched half-an-hour of TV in the last week and that was Rev! I sometimes glance at the papers in the Common Room in the morning, but I've no idea what's going on in the X Factor, Strictly or I'm a Celebrity. Which is arguably a good thing.

3) Not Seeing Enough of Mr A
"Hello, how's your day been? Good? Great. I'm off out again to Evening Prayer, then my Group's on Serving Duty so can you make your own dinner? Then I need to do 20 pages of reading for a seminar tomorrow. Then we can watch a DVD, if you like." 'Nuff said, though it's not for me to moan. I can't imagine what it must be like for those with kids.

4) Having Limited Contact with Friends.
Being able to get Facebook on my phone is a Godsend and I hope that I can make the most of the little time I'm back in Devon and Somerset in the Christmas Holidays.

5) Constantly Questioning How I'm Fitting In
Actually, I'm fitting in fine. We're all fitting in fine. Because there's no norm of what it is to fit in. But it's only been in the last week or so that I've truly managed to tame that little voice which goes "Do people like me?" "Am I spending enough time in the Common Room?" "Has everyone else formed a million long-lasting friendships already?" It's like starting University but worse, because Vicars are meant to be able to naturally slip in and out of any social situation, aren't they?

6) Getting Up At 6.30am
Every time the alarm goes I have to fight an intense urge to lob it out the window.

7) Placements Are Set To Try You
My placements are great. The people at my placements are great. It was my decision to go for placements out of my comfort zone and I'm learning a great deal from them. But if you're not a naturally talented youth worker - which I'm not - walking into a hall full of boisterous children is going to take some getting used to, with lots of time and energy given to knowing how to approach it.

8) Am I Clever Enough?
We're in Oxford. My colleagues on the MTh are supremely intelligent. Many have come straight from University. I can't pronounce half of the words they use, let alone know how to spell them or what they mean.

9) Can't I Just Be a Vicar Now?
Well, no, I can't. But there's always that thought whenever I'm learning about something exciting. I want to just get up and do it!

10) It's Only for a Time
A sobering thought when one is playing croquet, eating breakfast bacon that someone has lovingly cooked for me, placing filthy washing up on an enchanted trolley which disappears through a magical door, sitting an Oxford MTh paid for entirely by someone else, reading a great book because that's what I'm here to do, conversing with fantastic and wonderful people - I'm not here forever. In 2 years time I'll be somewhere else entirely. It's easy to forget that college is a transitional place.

Well, that's my piece for the day. You'll understand, I can't hang on long. Over and Out.

Okay Croquet

The rather contrived title for this post takes as its inspiration my new favourite thing. Croquet. "Hang on a minute!" I hear you cry, "surely very few people other than the Queen and Prince Philip know how to play this game, and surely it requires a flat lawn and fair weather, and surely you've got something better to do?"

Well yes, let me explain.

I do have some things to do (preparing for seminars, placement journalling, general spiritual reading) but nothing with a deadline. I mean, while some courses are happily beavering away on an essay a week, MTh still have many months until we can hand ours in. Added to this, I am weak and easily swayed. So however adament I am that I'm getting down to some serious reading, the golden words "would you like to play croquet?" are all I need.

"But, why croquet?" say you. Well there's very little else to do at Cuddesdon.

Maybe I'm doing myself down, I'm sure I've done some other stuff since my last installment. Well, there was Youth Group on Thursday in which I led the craft activity. We made a poms poms, and some of the young people were quite into it, so I'm pretty pleased. Friday was Guest Night in which me and Mr A and many others pretended to be waiters and seemed to largely pull it off. And today I went to 8am BCP at St Andrews. Paul came along too and rather enjoyed it, which was great. Then we went for a coffee at the hallowed Green Cafe, and played football this afternoon.

So all in all not a bad few days. Weekends never reeeally feel like weekends, but then in the old days we did very little at weekends. And now we do lots. In general, life is good. I'm still bowled over every time I think about how fortunate I am to be here and still can't believe I'll be a deacon in two years (hopefully...!) I'm also amazed and delighted at how much Mr A is loving his course and, as far as I can see, he appears to be doing rather well at it. Hurrah!

It's the first time for years that, at this point in November, I haven't been egging Christmas on. This year, Christmas can come as slowly as it wants. I've too much to do!

Denomination, Denomination, Denomination

Well, it's College Quiet Day and I'm not sure whether doing a Blog post is sort of breaking the rules by communicating with you all. I've decided it probably isn't because a Quiet Day is a time to reflect and that is precisely what I am doing.

So, what's happened since last we spoke? As predicted I didn't get Common Room President, the rather wonderful Josh who is marvellously charistmatic and approachable did, and quite rightly too.


The Presidential results aside, last week was pretty quiet. Everyone was tired, everyone waiting for a break at half-term. I had a lovely weekend. I managed to see all the people I planned to, had several lovely meals, was amazed at the new speaking abilities of the only child I know (Tabitha, who is almost 2) and watched 4 hours of 'Steps Reunited' with my Mum. Good stuff all round! 
I went back to Stoke St Gregory Baptist Church on Sunday morning, which was very nice indeed. It's my Mum's church, which I attended up to the age of 19 and haven't been there properly since. I was pleased to see quite a lot of people there that I don't know, reassuring that in 6 years it hasn't just been the same old crowd. I'm told that the current Minister is superb with schools and families which I think is great news. Everyone was very friendly and interested in what I was getting up to.

My morning at the Baptist Church, as well as my conversations with the Baptist ministerial candidates in my MTh group at Regents Park, has led me to reflect on why I am training for ordination in the Church of England. In some ways, my coming to Anglicanism feels a bit random. My Dad is C of E but the Sunday School at the Baptist Church was always better, so that's where I went as a child. Then, via a number of free churches, I started going along to the University Chapel in my second year at University, attracted, initially at least, by the simple fact that most of my housemates went there. This journey has meant (much to the horror of many of my fellow students here!) that I was both baptised in the C of E and blessed in the Baptist Church as a baby, then baptised again in the Baptist Church aged 14 and confirmed in the C of E aged 21.

So why Anglicanism? Just because my housemates at Uni happened to go to an Anglican church? What if they'd gone to the local Baptist church?

Between you and me, I'm not particularly hung up on denomination. Were I not being ordained, I would quite happily attend - well - whatever demonination of church I lived near and seemed to feel 'right' whether it was Anglican, Baptist, URC or whatever. I've no beliefs about the Eucharist which would stop me taking it in a church of any denomination, no beliefs about the nature of priesthood that mean I wouldn't regard a Minister of any Christian denomination as equal to an Anglican Priest.
As a matter of fact, I'm not entirely sure why I'm training for ordination in the Anglican Church and not another denomination. There are many things I love about the C of E - the weight it gives to scripture/reason/tradition, its regard for the Eucharist, the variety of traditions you find under its umbrella. I'm happy to be here. And I know God is calling me to be here rather than elsewhere. But I feel my experience of other churches stands me in good stead for ecuminism. The moment we forget that Anglicanism is not the only way to be church is the moment we miss out on a lot of the richness of church experience elsewhere. There's an exciting world out there!

And, not that it follows the line of my argument, more that I feel the need to quote him wherever I can, here's John Betjamin.

But still it gives the chance to me
To praise our dear old C. of E.
So other Churches please forgive
Lines on the Church in which I live,
The Church of England of my birth,
The kindest Church to me on earth.
There may be those who like things fully
Argued out, and call you “woolly”;
Ignoring Creeds and Catechism
They say the C. of E.’s “in schism”.
There may be those who much resent
Priest, Liturgy, and Sacrament, Whose worship is what they call “free”,
Well, let them be so, but for me
There’s refuge in the C. of E. 

(From Septuagessima)